Communication Struggles & Bug Catchers!

This morning at MOPS, Emilie (one of our mentoring moms), gave an excellent talk about communication struggles and how differences in our personality types can really play an influential role in how we relate to one another.  Here some of the highlights from her talk based on the movie and book "Love Talk" by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott:

~when we communicate with others, it is important to have an open posture that tells the other person you are listening to them and "in" the conversation

~free the environment from distractions such as computer, tv, phone calls, etc.

~people want to feel safe when they communicate and there are 4 main "safety zones" that we tend towards when we relate to someone:

              

 1.  Time - this category of people value time very highly, therefore effective and efficient conversation is best for them 

               2.  Approval - this type of person tends to be very social, outgoing and live life based on his/her feelings, loss of approval is devastating to him/her

               3.  Loyal - people in this group are challenged by change and therefore resist change as much as possible

               4.  High Quality -  this group of people is characterized by setting high standards, wanting things done the right way, being very orderly, steady and cautious decision makers

~it is important to recognize not only our own "safe" mode of communicating, but also the safety zone of the person we are talking to

~depending on which "safety zone" we fall into when we communicate effects how we give and receive communication and is most apparent when we solve problems, influence others, react to change and make decisions.

~we need to learn to think like the other person in their shoes, not us in their shoes because that is still us

~learning when to keep quiet is one of the most important areas of communication and is especially important when the other person isn't ready (i.e. husband just got home from work), you have already discussed the matter 100 times or if the other person isn't being rational

~stop the negative self-talk because that really affects the rest of our communication- we need to say no to those untrue and condemning thoughts! 

~male/female differences do matter - men tend to communicate to report something and women tend to communicate to build relationships

Thanks Emilie for a great talk! 

For further study on the topic of communication, Emilie also suggested reading books written by Deborah Tannen.

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After our Mentoring Mom Moment, we also made these cute bug catchers (or treasure keepers) for our kids! 

    

Relax & Rejuvenate!

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28

  It seems like everyone tends to think of New Year's Day as a time to start afresh, set new goals and rethink life in general to try to make it better than the previous year.  As moms, I think a lot of us tend to have this type of attitude every day (at least I know I do!)...."TODAY is the day I won't lose my patience so quickly; TODAY I'm going to get up, shower and do my devotions before my kids awake; TODAY is the day I will be a better mom!"...and on and on.  This definitely can be a good attitude to have, although it can also quickly lead down the vicious path of "I'm not good enough" accompanied by feelings of frustration, comparing yourself to others and overall discouragement.

That being said, January's theme for MOPS this year was "Relax and Rejuvenate" - the goal being to get moms to slow down and refuel physically, emotionally and spiritually as 2010 begins - something moms are rarely told and even more rarely do!  At the second meeting, Marg led us in a fantastic "Mentoring Moms Moment" specifically on this very topic and here are some of the main points from her talk:

~you don't have to be SuperMom - there are other people in your life (husband, grandparents, friends) who can help care for your children - let them!

~take care of yourself so you can take care of your children (like in an airplane when you need to put on your oxygen mask first to be able to put on your child's mask)

~start your day right - shower, exercise, eat well, pray

~read a good book or start a hobby that you can "get lost in" every once in awhile

~develop relationships with other moms (like at MOPS!) that are in a similar situation as yourself so you can empathize with each other

~learn to laugh through life and it will get you through many things

~stop trying to be perfect and don't feel guilty that you aren't

~take time to pray and rest with God - He is our great comforter and is with us in all things!

~remember that whatever you are going through - "this too shall pass"

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Here also are a few pictures from our relaxing January meetings where the bulk of our time as spent making smoothies, getting massages (from a professional woman in our church!), making bath salts and just spending lots of quality time catching up with each other!

Christmas Show & Tell

This morning at MOPS, we shared some of our favorite holiday traditions that make Christmas such a special day in our homes.  Some of the favorite past-times include:

~waiting at the top of the steps until everyone is ready to come down
~taking a picture with everyone waiting at the top of the steps
~reading and/or reciting the Christmas story found in Luke 2
~opening Advent calendars throughout the month of Nov (Diana's advent calendar is pictured below)
~buying kid-friendly nativity scenes
~baking cookies together and take them around to friends and neighbors
~opening a special present Christmas Eve
~making photo ornaments with your kids
~reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' together
~visiting live nativity scenes like the one at Merrymead Farms (Dec 19&20)

***Both the wooden advent calendar above as well as the muscial plush nativity scene that Sarah K brought in can be found at Catholic Supply.

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Here are also a few pictures from our last meeting where we made the magnet nativity scenes for our kids!

"Houston We Have a Problem!" - Toddler Issues

This morning's MOPS meeting was based on dealing with troubles we face as moms with our children and how we can better handle certain situations.  To help us work through some specifics, we invited 3 veteran moms from our church - Stephanie G., Cindy C., and Tammie B.,  who have successfully made it through the baby/toddler years as well as 2 moms from our MOPS group - Allison W. and Diana M., who are in the thick of it right now. 

We gave our group of panel moms several questions to think through before coming to our meeting this morning including:

~Did any of you have very willful children and how did you deal with the stubbornness/temper tantrums/screaming/hitting? Did you find your methods to have positive results and would you do the same thing over again?
~Any helpful hints on potty training - (things that worked for you, getting kids to do #2 on the potty, nighttime training, etc.)?
~How did you deal with sharing in your home (mostly between siblings)? Did you have specific goals or rules that you found helpful when kids were having playtimes?

And here are some of the nuggets of wisdom we were given:
~Deal with willful children NOW and stick to it even though it is exhausting because you will reap the rewards years from now.
~Encourage and praise good things your children do (sharing toys, not whining, etc.) instead of just noticing and disciplining bad behaviour. 
~Pick you battles and think before you speak - but once you draw a line, do not back down!
~When your children are a little older, think about creating an "appeal" process in which they may, with a pleasant tone, give you new information to think about to reconsider your decision. 
~If you are having trouble getting along well with one of your children, try to find fun things that you can do together with that child to create happy memories as a foundation for your relationship. 
~When times are hard it is easy to compare yourself or your child with other moms and kids - beware of that and don't let yourself fall prey to it!
~Whatever you are going through, you are NOT alone in your motherhood journey and someday you will miss these days when your kids are little, so try - even when it's extremely hard, to enjoy every moment! 

Thank you to our wonderful panel - you were all very helpful and so encouraging to us moms!

Humility & Forgiveness

Last Wednesday in our MOPS meeting, we watched a DVD that focused on humility and forgiveness and how we impact others around us.  The speaker talked a lot about the importance of community and that we participate in so many unique communities every day that are filled with all kinds of different relationships (MOPS, church, soccer, neighborhood, doctor office, etc.).  She also emphasized the need for us to be humble and forgiving when we are relating to other people because communities are so vital to us as human beings.

We then discussed in our groups the example of Jesus as a humble servant and what kind of amazing forgiveness He showed to us on the cross.  Are we quick to let go of minor issues or do we hold onto and simmer allowing relationships to be destroyed?  Are we willing to forgive people that have offended us like Christ has forgiven us?  Are we willing to humble ourselves and bear with other people's inadequacies and failures remembering that we also are grave sinners in need of a Saviour?

The Station

At our meeting last Wednesday, the theme was The Station. Marg was our speaker and she shared with us that if we view our lives as a train ride it seems we spend most of our time looking out the window, trying to see how far it is to the next station. We look forward to arriving there, thinking it will be so much better than the ride we are on. In the same way with our daily lives, we want the excitement of what lies ahead (or we just want to get past the hard times in order to get to the better times), but in doing this we don't enjoy our current situation and circumstances like we should.

She pointed out that we need to even enjoy the bad times. James 1:2-3 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." God can use the difficult trial to mold us or mature us so that we will be more like Jesus Christ our Savior.

Marg ended her talk by reading an essay titled The Station by Robert J. Hastings. You can click here to view the essay.

Then for our craft, we designed and made earrings, using all sorts of different beads. Very fun!

Lilies of the Field

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt 6:28-34.

The above passage was the premise for our MOPS meeting yesterday morning as the steering committee put on a fashion show for the rest of the group. As women in the Lord, our inner beauty is truly what is most important and what will leave a lasting legacy behind us. However, as we reflect Christ to the world, there is truth to reflecting in a beautiful, yet modest, manner that we are true princesses of our King. That being said, some of the specific "tips" that were shared included:

~Perfect your posture

~Accentuate the positive

~Make acessories work for you

~Lengthen your silhouette

~Wear trends that flatter

~Choose clothes that fit

~Wear colors, prints, and fabrics that slim

As good as you may look, however, the truth of the matter is that...

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Prov. 31:30

Mishmosh

This morning's MOPS meeting was a combination of two totally different topics since we were playing catch up from 2 snow days this past winter. The first on the agenda was our "Love Tunnel" theme with Peg and Poke sharing a wonderful testimony of their marriage throughout all of their years together. Peg and Poke first met when they were both part of a youth project (from different churches) to help paint a church in western PA. Poke is convinced she was drawn to his 1955 Chevy Bel Air Hardtop Coupe (who wouldn't be right?!) but Peg insists there was more than that;)

Some of their words of wisdom included...
~"You are not alone - couples today face the same problems that have always plagued marriages (i.e. financial difficulties, concern for you children, etc.)"
~"Don't be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor, pastor or hospital if needed"
~"God provides for exactly what we need when we need it"
~"Face problems together with God at the center and your marriage will grow by leaps and bounds"
~"Show your children unconditional love and make sure they know they can ALWAYS come home"

Thank you so much Peg and Poke for your willingess to share your lives with us- we were all very encouraged and inspired by your excellent example of a Godly marriage!

But that was not all, oh no that was not all (anyone else have Cat in the Hat memorized?), we then continued with our "Fun Foods" craft and made sandwich and fruit kebabs to take home for our little MOPPETS to have for lunch! They were very cute and it was great to have something ready for the kids when we got home. Here are a few pictures:

Everyone working hard on their projects!

The finished product...some people also used cookie cutters for the cheese and cucumbers which made theirs even cuter!

Eating Healthy!

This morning at our MOPS meeting, we had Phyllis Young from Grandview Hospital come talk to us about making healthy meals for our whole families. She also had some helpful tips for how to handle picky eaters and ways to sneak in extra nutrients to regular foods so kids can't even tell the difference! Here are a few reminders for those of you that heard the talk, and for those of you that didn't, here's a quick recap of what we learned today:

~think outside the box - kids may like "dinner" foods for breakfast or vice versa

~have lots of variety and let kids try things you may not think they will like because you may be surprised

~tofu is an excellent source of calcium and protein if you have a non-milk lover

~avocado, mango, and kiwis are great foods to have your children try

~flaxseed is a good source of omega-3's and you can grind it up and put it in almost anything

~pureed squash, pumpkin, cauliflower can be added to many foods without kids noticing (pancakes, meatballs, muffins)

~add powdered milk to add protein and calcium

~substitute some or all whole wheat flour to recipes for added nutritional value

~wheat germ is also great to add to most recipes

~good snacks for kids include trail mix with dried fruit & nuts or apples & peanut butter

~"healthy" desserts include dipping graham crackers or fruit in pudding

~sprinkle some colored sugar on bananas (or really anything!) and kids will eat it right up!

~make mealtimes a social event with the whole family as often as possible

~try not to beg, bribe or get into power struggles with your children over food

~remember that children are little and only need very small portions

Towards the end of the meeting, we all started sharing some healthy recipes and ways we have gotten our kids to eat things like veggies. Here are 2 simple, nutrious recipes that were mentioned today (that are also very easy to change amounts of ingredients to fit your family's needs):

Glazed Carrots

1 sm. bag carrots

2 Tbs. brown sugar

2 Tbs. butter

1 tsp. cinnamon or 1 Tbs. mustard

Boil carrots until tender; drain. Add sugar, butter and cinnamin OR mustard (or neither). Enjoy! You can also use orange juice instead of butter for an even healthier option! (Sarah K. & Lisa L.)

"Surprise" Mac & Cheese

1 box any kind of noodles

~2 Tbs. butter

~2 Tbs. flour

~8 oz. sharp cheese - cubed or grated

2 sm. yellow summer squash - sliced, boiled and pureed.

~1/2 c. milk

Boil noodles; drain. In seperate pan, melt butter and add flour to make a paste. Add pureed squash and cheese to flour paste and add enough milk to make a sauce. Add noodles and enjoy! (Deb Z.)